Innenwelt

Whoashittttt

2011-12-19T01:52:00.000-08:00

So, nearly a whole year later...

Christmas is coming soon. Gonna be at Shep's this holiday! Hanging out with Shops again, and seeing the corgis for the first time and the new house and everything will be so awesome. :D <3 It'll be weird being in Seattle without seeing Auds, though. Auds, if by chance you see this and don't ignore the hell out of it, I still miss you. But I completely understand why you're shunning me, and frankly, you're more than right to do so. Sigh. :(

Anyway, so I'm getting caught up on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Such a Spike fan, no joke. <3 And Giles. Being old and classy never gets tiring. <3

Jobwise... unemployed right now, though I'll probably be re-employed as of tomorrow if the interview goes well. Doing the same ol' shit as last time, yep. It'll be different this time around I suppose, what with a smaller group and more experience under my belt. Lessee what it'll be like with the programmer in charge this time.

Up late due to accidentally having gone nocturnal, thanks to joblessness. Reeeeally trying to get back on track, but it's tough in the dead of winter. I haven't seen sunlight in days. This melatonin stuff totally works though, I sleep like a baby without being drugged incomprehensible like I am with the Unisom stuff.

Ummm, what else is interesting... uhhh.... right, comics. Still working on the Winterkings rewrite. Gotta write more cravats into it. That's right, Ari in a cravat. Yeayah.

Fell off the exercise wagon after getting back from Europe. Been too moody and insane to catch up on it. I hope I can hop back on after Christmas. That'll be my New Years resolution, sure, why not!

Art, art art art... Been too busy drawing commission stuff. I got tired of that in less than a year, haha! XD; I'll never enjoy customer service, like, ever. :( However, quitting freelance commission work just means I'll get to work guilt-free on comics, now that I've got a relative schedule to work with. Two stories, one cup! This stuff, at least, I can still be excited about. Not being able to commit myself to learning how to paint better makes me a sad panda, unfortunately. I -will- improve on that, somehow...

Writing... gotta catch up on that too, and pad out the first parts of Vishrana with more indulgent scene-setting. Flourible effervescent adjectivials, here I come...! I also have to do more scene-setting shit for zee Winterkings. So much old shit to retcon and repave with smoother narrative.

Reading: I totally read a novel! It feels all weird and new to me. Next on my reading list: the book that Chels and Peter got for me this year, perhaps with a side of unicorns and... all these other occult textbooks that have been stacking up on my shelves for the past four years. Craaaaap.

Anything else new about Cil? Hrmm... Twilight Sparkle hair, kitty cat still fat and adorable, parentals getting old, nephews still young, still bored by video games, still volatile, still crazy ol' Cil, being crazy and shit. Made lots of new friends, lost a few old ones, dropped some bad habits, gained some new ones, gained more confidence, lost some... yep, same old cranky Cil.

Anyway, got stuff to do. BBL!

2010-02-14T12:57:00.000-08:00

Feeling fat, frumpy, unaccomplished. Thinking ever more about dropping it all like a plate of hors d'oeuvres and running away to the country to live in a place where I can attend to my own house, inside and out, and never have it sullied by the real world ever again.

Gonna go see my doc on Weds for a recc to a dermatologist about this skin problem, and about PMDD. I hope to god she won't fight me on getting some Zoloft, or else there'll be something else entirely different going through my head.

2010-01-24T20:55:00.000-08:00

why do I bother with anything these days? oh that's right, I don't.

2009-07-19T10:46:00.001-07:00

My story of the last few months:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self_(psychology)

CBT: conclusion

2009-05-27T22:49:00.000-07:00

I figured out why the mainstream doesn't tend to like transcendent fiction as much. The revelation has also helped me to accept some other things. A bridge needs crossing. And this time I'll do it! I'll really do it! For reals!!!

doodlepost

2009-05-26T07:53:00.001-07:00

Just makin some noise on here regardless of quality.

CBT fail

2009-05-26T07:29:00.000-07:00

How's it go again... the more things change, the more they don't? Or no, the more things change, the more things stay the same! I'm late for work. +_+;

More ideas? yes ideas.

2009-05-22T19:13:00.000-07:00

A month later, the brain gestates and pinches out another few ideas. Today's rant is a culmination of a month.

Cil tries to write a female character YET again
brief diatribe on transcendental fiction
Untitled Acid Western

1. Female Characters, wtf

So I originally had this long stupid rant about bla bla me with no feminine role models blabbity bla pedagogy blabbity boo, but that was boring and I was just exacerbating my bad mood so I've delorted it, and am going straight to the meat. In short, I suck at writing female characters. I can make feminine characters but not, like, likeable female characters. I won't get into the details. Yes, you can make an interesting character first and THEN decide on gender, but... it just doesn't work that way for me, in my head. The universe I live in operates in a certain way. Can't deprogram myself overnight and all, etc.

Anyway, in light of characters, I figured what I ought to do first is make a character that I like, and then let the story spin off her first. So I carefully tallied up most of the characteristics, qualities and flaws that I think would make up a strong, respectable person. Here's what came out:

The idea is that she's an unemployed knight who's recently given up her land and armour to go on some kind of mysterious personal quest that has to do with a Tarot reading she did for herself, concerning the Tower card. For now she intends on going forward to meet it bravely and with courage, but she knows that the Tower is going to happen suddenly and terribly no matter how well-prepared she tries to be, so her story is really more a matter of being in the right place at the right time. She's not going towards it because she is expecting or even accepting death or worse, but because she knows she has no choice. The Great Change will happen, and there's no point griping or fleeing. You do the best you can, there is no try. Try implies only halfway effort. Even Yoda knew that.

2. Transcendental fiction: you just can't make people care hard enough.

I like transcendental fiction. I find a personal value in it. I think it's important. Very important. So important. Well, not more important than the big four -- food, water, shelter, love -- but STILL important in understanding what kind of potential we have as human beings to understand ourselves and others. Very often, I admit with an unrepressed wince, a lot of transcendental stuff I come across just loves to alienate its audience, so I don't blame some people for dismissing it as pure whackery. But it doesn't excuse my frustration over how people just dismiss it. Sure, it doesn't mean dick to you but it should, and maybe it means something to someone else, so for fuck's sake, show a little consideration, please. Gaah. Ok, that's as far as I'll go on that before I go on a swearing tirade.

3. Untitled Acid Western

aka. the Transcendental Western. Yep. You fuckers.
So I got bit by the creative bug and lo, a spontaneous story spawned. I've been doing some flash research on the subject and have even developed the plot for it, but the main character hasn't been named yet, and none of the other chars, for that matter. And guess what, you're all gonna hafta endure a Story Summary: (abridged version.)

Surface plot: Basically it's about this dude who's constantly on the run from marshals, bounty hunters, injuns, the works. He's a little weird. And he's extremely lucky. And he has this funny way of knowing exactly where to go and what to do. But he's a loner, and that makes his life difficult.

Underlying plot: He's in search of a mystical MacGuffin that everyone else wants a piece of. Apparently it's some Great Treasure of Fabulous Wealth and Value, and has a Mystical Origin! While the MC won't say it, there's been hints that this object he wants is actually the Philosopher's Stone of old myth. Those who've never heard of it don't care, and those who do are either skeptical, or they believe so hard they'll do anything to get their hands on it before the MC does...

Ugghh too tired to get into the details just yet. More on the next post.

titletitletitle

2009-04-29T17:29:00.001-07:00

So now that the mood swings are over, I feel AWESOMELY AWESOME. Well, not today coz I only got about 6 hours of sleep, plus the anemia, plus the killer cramps, but, y'know.

WK is back on track again with renewed focus! More news at 11 while I kick this logo job to the curb though, and... maybe get some sleep while I'm at it. Huff. Tired.

2009-04-17T17:35:00.000-07:00

so, I don't actually know anything about love at all. I'm totally doing it wrong.

8 Wizards; Cast

2009-04-12T03:07:00.001-07:00

So while WK is still simmering, I'll introduce the cast of characters first before diving into the brief notes I've got...!

Matilda
Usage: English, Swedish, Finnish, Slovak
From the Germanic name Mahthildis meaning "strength in battle", from the elements maht "might, strength" and hild "battle". Saint Matilda was the wife of the 10th-century German king Henry I the Fowler. The name was brought to England by the Normans, being borne by the wife of William the Conqueror himself. It was popular until the 15th century in England, usually in the vernacular form Maud. Both forms were revived by the 19th century. This name appears in the popular Australian folk song 'Waltzing Matilda', written in 1895.

Gundred
- no entry listed on BehindTheName
- chosen from a David Edding's book, I forget which one. XD It sounds badass anyway.
http://www.surnamedb.com/surname.aspx?name=Gunderson

Surname: Gunderson
This interesting surname translates as the son of "Gondri" or "Gundric", a once common old French personal name from the Germanic elements "gund", battle and "ric", poser. This personal name, introduced by the Normans to Britain, went through a few transformations to Gundred or Gundry in the 12th and 13th Centuries to Grundy in more recent times.

Name: Matilda Gundred, "Poised Strength In Battle"
Age: 18
Race: human
Born: La Valle, St. Anthony's parish
Nationality: Amborran
HT/WT: 5'8, 125 lbs
Hair/Eyes: brown, brown
Size: M
Gender: female
Class: Fighter
Special Mojo: ??? (dunno yet! XD;)

- Matilda is my attempt at writing an interesting female character. Most of my self-doubt in writing feminine characters comes from, well, self-doubt, really. XD;
- strongly patterned after Joan of Arc.
- born and raised by her mother Editha Gundred in St.Anthony's, a little village out in the sticks
- like everyone else in the village, her father Gaston and brother Dieudonne were sent off to war when she was only a child. It has been twelve years since.
- with all ablebodied men of the village having been sent off to war, Matilda (known as Maddy) naturally assumed the role of the family son, and developed into a strongly independent figure
- the younger members of the village look up to her, and she has a reputation in the village for being a responsible leadership type, despite her age.
- of all her childhood friends, she is closest to Asher and looks after him like a helpless little brother.
- a strong swimmer
- protected most of the younger kids in the village
- also voted most popular young female to marry
- frequently rejects marriage proposals despite her mother's encouragement
- dreams frequently of a white calf.
- oddly, likes to smoke pipes.

- generally a cool, stern, controlling type, sensible, distant.
- fairly sharp and aware of most things happening around her, even if she doesn't acknowledge them
- strong of character but vulnerable, of course
- independent, not easily inclined to trust anyone but close friends
- generally good sense of judgment, re: people. High emotional awareness, but lacks the sensitivity or even interest to deal with it. Often sends Asher in to deal with tricky emotional issues instead.
- definitely a kind of frigid Girl Next Door
- not incapable of romantic love, but makes it difficult to earn.
- doesn't like over-sensitive, effeminate men (Ash) or overly macho, misogynistic men (Maliverny)
- but prolly would go for the Boy Next Door (Ash XD) if he weren't such an wittering puffball.

Douglas
Anglicized form of the Scottish surname Dubhghlas, which meant "dark river" from Gaelic dubh "dark" and glais "water, river". Douglas was originally a river name, which then became a Scottish clan name (belonging to a powerful line of Scottish earls). It has been used as a given name since the 16th century.

Asher
Means "happy" or "blessed" in Hebrew. Asher in the Old Testament was a son of Jacob and Leah's handmaid Zilpah, and the ancestor of one of the twelve tribes of Israel.

Edward
Means "rich guard", derived from the Old English elements ead "rich, blessed" and weard "guard".

Name: Edward Asher Douglas, "Blessed Guard of the Dark River"
Age: 17
Race: human
Born: La Valle, St. Anthony's parish
Nationality: Amborran
HT/WT: 5'6, 135 lbs
Hair/Eyes: blond, blue
Size: M
Gender: male
Class: Priest/Cleric
Special Mojo: Walk on Water

- born and raised in St.Anthony's, a little village out in the sticks
- Asher's father's name was also named Edward Douglas
- father was sent off to war along with the rest of the village men
- Ash was raised by his mother Asenath Kovacs, but Ash retains his father's name
- his master is Samuel Defarge, who is a crippled and ageing healer, herbalist and fisherman.
- his mentor is Father Giffard, the priest of St Anthony's and
- DeFarge was a good teacher; harsh, beat him with a stick, but taught his student how to be cunning. As a result, Ash is often fairly obtuse but can show occasional flashes of unexpected cleverness.
- Giffard taught Ash some Secrets.
- likes to fish.
- learned how to cut hair from his mother. Gets accused of not being able to cut his own hair, but in truth he's actually just lazy.
- Ash is actually very intelligent, and is a very wise character -- more than what Maddy gives him credit for -- but he's also very subdued with a low self-esteem. He'd been abused by his mother as a young child, and Maddy frequently had to rescue him.
- frequently dreams of a black dog.
- despite his name, he has a fear of deep water.

- is a generally happy sort, shy, but easily frightened, and is sensitive with a high emotional intelligence.
- as a result he comes off as weak and too eager to please, which Maddy detests
- for all of his bumbling helplessness however, he is actually rather sensible and has a head for figures and detail
- and he also works hard, of which Maddy approves.
- Ash does have a spark of independence in him, which is stoked and fostered throughout the story until he manages to mature to a point where he is no longer as ridiculously clueless.

Ing
Usage: Germanic Mythology, Norse Mythology
From old Germanic Ingwaz, which possibly means "he who is foremost". Ing was the name of a Norse and Germanic fertility god, known in Scandinavia as Yngvi Freyr (see FREYR).

Malivery
- a place in France? Maybe?

Name: Ing Maliverny, "Foremost"
Age: 24
Race: human
Born: (undetermined as of yet))
Nationality: Barclavian
HT/WT: 5'9, 175 lbs
Hair/Eyes: sandy-blond, grey
Size: L
Gender: male
Class: Fighter
Special Mojo: Disappears At Night

- macho, misogynistic, lacking class or wit
- just very good at smashing things
- fairly shallow personality at first, but later turns out to be more considerate than formerly thought.
- a loose cannon! reckless but insanely lucky
- more cunning than wise, which only slightly makes up for his moderate intelligence
- despite his misogyny, it later turns out to mostly be for show; he actually possesses a certain amount of emotional awareness as well, but chooses to stuff it rather than allow himself to be too profoundly affected by the fact that he kills foreigners for a living.
- anyway, he's frankly more interested in smashing things and chasing tail, but he does respond to authority and does well to keep his job among the ranks
- switches between Tank and DPS, but is mostly a skirmishing DPS type
- the survivor of his dead company and the last man to see his commander alive

and his posse of knight-dudes:
1. Graves (old, Vimesey, but more Kipp-like than commandery)
2. Christof Braun (Blon in every way!)
3. Uriel Shargeaux (of old, so totally unused u_u; indifferent, cool, foreign)
4. Daniel Payrimr (headstrong, proud, honourable)

- Graves leads the other three and has no choice but to take on Maliverny too

- dreams frequently of an empty plain (?)

Whoops, it is Late O'Clock, better run to bed XD

forgot what day it is; also, new story idea

2009-04-11T01:57:00.000-07:00

Up late on account of the Witterings. Must exorcise. Blog, this is where you assist.

I've been a bit wiggy and paranoid today for absolutely no reason; I think I'm on an MD downward slope, which is only gonna get worse before it gets better.

I keep... wanting to talk about my insecurities but I'm holding back. I want to complain so bad. This is as close as I'm gonna get, I guess. I won't be able to contain it for much longer, though. One day at a time.

Winterkings has ground to a halt. Sure, the jobbenings have consumed most of last month, but I've become afraid of working on WK now, on account of it having somehow turned into my "baby" which is totally not what I wanted to happen. So, as a result, I'm taking a step back from it to work on something else in the meantime until I've gained the courage to take WK back up again. Woe and dismay for the fearful creator...! ;_;

Anyway, the new idea so far is turning into a kind of romantic adventure story between two best friends who are both rather poor matches but are undeniably suited for each other. I guess I'm wallowing on romance now coz everyday I keep wanting Kai to come home for me, and yet I'm afraid of rewrangling my life around. I'm guessing he'd like to do the same. He's still smarting from me having ended the thing years ago, probably. Waiting for me to apologize. To express regret. Or something. But I don't regret it. It was really the best thing to do for the both of us, and he'd agree on that, at least. I wish I knew what his feelings were. In fact, I wish I knew what EVERYONE'S feelings were. I'm still so dreadfully insecure and regretful of other past failures. Tom's been helping me with it, though. One day at a time.

OK so back to the story!

It's a romantic adventure story with a smattering of religiousity, some supernatural ackshun, and naturally lots of graphic violence and tons of killin, coz it wouldn't be a Cil production without the gore and tragedy. There's no magic in the story but there are miracles, which are basically supernatural events beyond anyone's control. And there are monsters! For once I have no idea what the middle entails, only that in the end, the two main characters find each other, then find themselves, and then find each other again before deciding that this whole time, their feelings of affection and longing and comfort in each other has been Love, and that they've been in love with each other since day one. It'll take them a gajillion years to get to that point though, with multiple admissions of love at varying levels of sincerity before the idea finally takes hold.

Why is love so important to the story tho, you ask? Well, the trouble is that the word itself has so much crazy stigma attached to it; "true" love, "I love steak", "I love your dress", familial love, friendly love, sexual love, romantic love, infatuation, puppylove, etc. Love comes in so many varieties and colours and depths of meaning that it no longer stands for a certain set value of virtue; it encompasses the entire range, and so could mean anything. So while things are dying and resurrecting and being born and going crazy in the background, our two heroes, male and female, are trying to figure out for themselves what "love" really means without using words or philosophy or verbose pondering (like this entry, for example XD), but through the most basic of human interactions, which is just by being with each other through thick and thin. They'll hurt each other and piss each other off, misunderstand and learn, forgive and forget, help and abandon, fear and respect and feel lonely, and basically do everything to and with each other until they understand what love is for themselves, and wordlessly bond over it. Even my description of the thing, imo, is romantic; but I want to portray a kind of truthful love against a background of various kinds of love, compared against other people's notions of love, and to simulate the confusion that occurs when people suddenly realize that there's no real standard of love to go by except for what feels real, and that's just as tricky as trying to figure out what you want out of life. I could go on and on about this and never come to a firm conclusion.

Anyway, the piece is hovering between a variety of titles, including The Eight Wizards (after its original incarnation), Heartfelt (because of its focus on love), and The Suicide Hydra (for its depiction of multi-faceted doubt which inevitably kills itself; a theme of the exploration of love, in which over-analyzation defeats the purpose entirely. XD yes, yes. I know). For now it's filed among my works as the 8wizards.

The 8 wizards come in as symbols of the 8 Virtues/Sins of Western theology, which typically include Justice/Corruption, Chastity/Lust, Temperance/Gluttony, Charity/Avarice, Diligence/Sloth, Patience/Wrath, Kindness/Envy, Humility/Pride. The number 8 also corresponds to the number of bosses that one has to defeat in a Megaman game, discounting the sub-bosses. XD So, in short, the story will involve our main characters overcoming 8 different foes, each of a certain miraculous disposition, in what I hope will be grim and fantastic fights to the death with lots of maiming and bloodshed, mostly for my own entertainment. XD Fortunately, the MCs won't be engaged in metaphorical or symbolic struggles against said Vices or even Virtues, coz that just complicates and pigeonholes things.

And okay, it's nearly 4 now and I haven't stayed up this late in two weeks, I'd better vamoose. I'll post my loose notes in the morning.

Dissident Direction 2

2009-03-16T11:55:00.000-07:00

It's not a sequel, thank something. Onward with exorcising my closet demons.

Amongst my trash trove of ancient drawings from yesteryears I found character designs for this story, apparently featuring the rest of Siven's group. Listed on top are his "friends", and below that his "allies", but I don't have much for enemies; if I remember the story correctly, that Thellon guy (hmm, name familiar? XD) appears first as Siven's ally but later turns out to be a major antagonist, though Siven is the main villain the entire time, if that makes sense. Anyway, I've gone ahead and duplicated them all with horrible results:

Bron, Fargo and Sali. I think the (garbled??) blob in the previous summary was supposed to be "Sali". I also have a feeling that 'Benton, Drew and Paul' were supposed to be the names for these losers later on, coz these drawings predate the written summary that I've shredded. These were done at 72 dpi, hence why they look like ass (or more ass than the higher-dpi ass, haha XD)

Cen, Thellon and "the receptionist lady", a nameless NPC who appeared randomly throughout the story to supply unintentional advice, chance observations or serendipitous wisdom, despite being an oblivious airhead herself. Why I chose to draw these guys at higher DPI, I don't know.

Not my best work but whatever, I wanted to get rid of the originals real fastlike. XD

That's it for Dissident with desert mecha. Next up: Dissident Direction the PREQUEL, with more nuclear waste and senseless anachronism. Along with character names, I recycle titles as well. XD

Craaawling under my skiiiinnn~

2009-03-15T13:17:00.000-07:00

I just had a weird and slightly horrifying nightmare! D:

I dreamt that I'd somehow scratched my right arm, but I didn't make much of it; a day or two later, I discovered that something was growing out of the scar, so I pulled it open and it turned out to be a kite string or balloon string of some kind that opened up my skin along the length of my arm. Horrified, I realized that there was all this STUFF either stored in or growing under my skin -- bits of junk, old balloon pieces, trash, and TONS of these WEIRD, rubbery, organic, blackish-brown balls like chocolate whoppers or chocolate-covered almonds all stuffed up into my arm. Frantically I tried to shake them all out without touching them, spreading the gap in my skin open so they'd just tumble on out by themselves; they came out in a huge glot onto the front step, like deer poop. I ran around trying to tell and show people what was happening to me but no one seemed to care. I was too busy trying to empty out my arm anyway. stopping every so often to turn my arm over and litter these things all over the place.

Near the end of the dream I still hadn't been able to get all the little black balls out but I discovered that the beginning of the problem had been the kite string, which had somehow rooted itself deep into my flesh and tied itself into a bloody knot into the pink muscle. I couldn't get my fingernails on it to yank it out, but somehow I was afraid of the pain and of the potential damage it could do to the muscles of my arm; if only I had a pair of tweezers, I thought, then I could gently un-knot it and then slip it free without harm.

OK, dream-analysis! Show me your meaning!

Skin
To dream of your skin, represents protection or shield of your inner self. It serves as a physical boundary and how close you let others get to you. Alternatively, it may indicate that you are being to superficial or shallow.

Skinless
To dream that you or someone else is skinless, suggests that you are having difficulties in sensing your emotional and psychological world. You are experiencing anxieties about how you are being perceived by others. You need to look beyond the superficial and find the sensitive truth about yourself and about others.

Arm
To dream that your arm has been injured, signifies your inability to care for yourself or your helplessness in reaching out to others. You may have been feeling limited and restricted in terms of your freedom or activities. The right arm signifies your outgoing nature and is associated with masculine energy, while your left arm signifies your supportive or nurturing nature and is associated with feminine qualities. Losing either arm may suggest that you are failing to recognize its respective characteristics.

String
To see strings in your dream, represents binding, cohesion, and joining. It may relate to the strength of your involvement to a project, situation, or relationship. You are having concerns about holding some relationship together. Alternatively, the dream may indicate your need to use your position and leverage to get what you want. Consider the phrase "pulling strings."

To dream that you are tying a string, indicates something you have forgotten to do.

To dream that you are untangling a string, suggest that there is some issue in your waking life that you need to straighten.

I can't figure out what to look for, re: little black balls. *shiver*

Anyway, I'm going to assume that this is yet another manifestation of my insecurities. My closet-cleaning therapy is resulting in feelings of inadequacy, that my childhood has been nothing but junk, trash, weird stuff that I absolutely do not want to keep stored inside myself or remain attached to (the kite-string), and that the rest of it is this repulsive black poopy crap that no one wants or cares to see. I also feel that no one wishes to respond to my distress, and that frankly it shouldn't involve anyone but myself? I'm concerned about hurting myself if I remove all attachments, but I see it as necessary for healing without infection or remaining disgusted with myself. However, there is hope! If I'm able to carefully and surgically remove the root of my attachments, I'll be able to recover into a whole person, and never have to deal with it ever again.

So frankly I don't need to do anything new about this, as I've been doing my best to carefully dispose of my past. Part of it involves re-drawing and revisiting my old drawings and ideas, storing them on here, before shredding them for good. Ah well, I'd better hurry it the hell up if I don't want anymore fucked up dreams like that. XD;

Dissident Direction

2009-02-25T20:31:00.000-08:00

So I've been cleaning out my closet for the past couple days, tossing out tons of crap like old math binders and English tests and report cards, old letters and useless keepsakes, as well as old art from my highschool days. Some of the little projects I used to work on I remember but some I don't, or at least I don't seem to recall them very well. One of the things I found is, apparently, page 4 of a story summary that I wrote up long ago called Dissident Direction. Here it is, circa 1997; I was 16. XD

- Siven receives the "gift" of the Nephilim, and bears the mark.
- President Thorne of RYIT Co. reveals his intentions of becoming a 'god', and orders a thorough investigation of the unearthed ruins.
- meanwhile, Siven goes to the repair bay to check on his ACU and meets all his pals; Benton, Drew and Paul.
- after talking to all three, he learns more about the mysterious crystals that power the Ramgar continent's ACUs.
- then Cen and her friends (garbled??) and Lucy appear. Cen informs Siven that Neinhaus wants to see him. Siven leaves the BOK027 in Benton's hands and leaves the hangar.
- Neinhaus really wants to see the Ninah concert in the Tomo capital city, so he's leaving Siven in charge of the next dig.

??????
This was a story about... shit, do I even remember it? It was about mechs in a hardpan desert, working for a big mining, refinery and manufacturing company called the RYIT Corporation. The main character Siven (like 'Steven' but without the T) is an employee with this company working on locating and digging for special resources called crystals, which are big hunks of coloured crystal that mysteriously act as batteries and basically power the entire deserty continent, Ramgar. The love interest is a girl named Cen, and as in all classic Cil-stories, all their friends die tragically throughout the story. XD As for the plot...

From what I can remember, it was supposed to be a big FF7-style conspiracy plot about the crystals actually being the crystallized bodies of fallen angels, and that the continent was a desert because of some big techno-religious war, and the president of RYIT is actually some kind of head priest for a secret cult that wanted to usher in a new age of demons or something. I also remember something about the angels having lost the first war because of some kind of -- yeah, okay, I was 16, remember XD -- uber-maschine that emitted a certain frequency that turned all of them into a solidified state. It had to do something with the angels being "anchored" in linear time and space that rendered them static, like uhh... well, a literal crystallization, a state of persistence and no change. It was complicated. I thought long and hard about this shit when I was 16. Anyway, somehow one of these angels had been 'revived' from its crystal-state and got totally pissed that the rest of his sleeping brethren were being used as batteries -- ones that expired mind you, meaning that the crystals did eventually burn out and turn into crap after a long period of use. So this angry angel possesses the main character and totally uses him to try and destroy the Corporation and the essentially the world, but then the POWER OF LOOOVE prevents him from making the last move, thereby saving mankind or... or something. Anyway, everyone dies. XD

Anyway, in a fit of curiousity I decided to redraw Siven from the batch of old sketches I found with these old notes. (note the DBZ influence. Yeaaaah.) Behold the results:
(click meeee!)

The dew-drop knows the sun only within its own tiny orb.

2009-02-25T14:06:00.000-08:00

-- Rabindranath Tagore

And now, a blog in drawing:

Thinking is easy, acting is difficult...

2009-02-25T04:06:00.000-08:00

...and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.

-- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Starting an art journal, possibly containing rants and scraps of poetry and wise quotes from wise people, as well as updates on... well, whatever it is that I do...!

*Living within our means... a simple life is pleasurable. I love the adage that one should not own anything they cannot afford to replace.

-- Michaela Dawn